“I’ve never thought about song writing as a weapon,” – Taylor Swift (hashtag, bullshit)
“When you can stand next to a beautiful woman who also sings, and not be insecure in who you are, [then you can be] a queen too.” – Nicki Minaj
“Watch out for the Regina George in sheep’s clothing.” – Katy Perry
Now, my respect for the above “celebs” is pretty much non-existent, and I fortunately do not follow them on twitter to learn about their unimportant feuds, however when they feature as breaking news (fucking hell) I can’t help but sigh. Not only are numerous celebs famous for holding zero talent, but featuring their passive aggressive tweets as top stories online, society is merely encouraging this unhealthy behaviour.
Passive–aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, stubbornness, sullenness, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.
Passive aggression is something I really loathe. If someone wants to tell me I’m being a wank stain, I would much prefer a direct conversation as opposed to indirect emoji’s, “Lol” comments on my photos or straight up back stabbing compliments. How on earth is someone meant to know something’s up, and attempt to discontinue their say- annoying behaviour, if no one in the world straight up TELLS them? Are we psychic? Is all of this passive aggressive bullshit a test to show us that we really possess magical mind reading skills? Or is it because society promotes bitching and backstabbing as the norm, and ultimately, being a pussy who can’t just honestly relay an annoyance in person, is accepted?
I often sit and attempt to decode a message and my face is that of pure confusion. “Ok. Have fun!” after saying you need to rearrange plans. Is this laced with anger or do they really want me to have fun? I’m sensing pissy undertones or am I being paranoid? I said I was sick… surely they can’t expect me to have fun while I vom? WHAT ON EARTH DO THEY MEAN? It usually results in me ignoring it and praying I’m just over thinking a stupid text. The truth then proceeds to come out a week later during lunchtime cocktails, that “yes, I was a bit annoyed you cancelled so last minute.” HALLELUJIAH! Why the fuck didn’t you just say that? It’s taken you a week of resentment to tell me, and I’ve now apologised and explained I was sprawled on the bathroom floor with sick in my hair so I really couldn’t make it. Yes, apologies, I should have explained better in my text. You feel better now huh? Of course, this is just followed by laughter at the silliness & checking in @ Chequitos for COCKtails. BFF’s reunited.
I literally just scrolled through twitter and saw the following:
“Don’t take me for granted, because I’m not afraid to walk away,”
JESUS GIRL, WHAT DID HE DO? Do you really expect your boyfriend to pick up on your tweet and immediately realise what he’s done? If they’re stupid enough to do something that made you tweet this, he’s obviously not clever enough to decode the meaning. Yano how they say only tell a dog off when they’re mid doing something naughty? The concept is pretty much the same with humans. Chances are, they won’t understand your indirect message 3 days after they forgot your anniversary. Or I won’t anyway. Communicate. Speak in person. I know it’s a novel idea in today’s world, but trust me, communicating the only way you’ll perhaps see a change.
It seems passive aggression isn’t just for the 2015 cool cats. Pops and Madre’s everywhere love a mid queue huff, or my mum’s personal fave: the eye roll teamed with a tut. Perhaps it’s ingrained into us Brits to not speak our mind but instead send indirect clues for people to maybe, or maybe not pick up on. Is it being too polite? Are are we just fucking wimps? Are we destined for a life of being always a teeny bit pissed off? When I want someone to head down into my lacey pants, I’ll happily push their head down, yet when it comes to telling someone they’re pissing me off? I’ll run and hide from even the idea of confrontation.
If you are reading this and have realised you’re passive aggressive, do a me and consider your future behaviour. I know it’s a bit soon for NY resolutions you’ll break, but think of how easy life would be if we all spoke our minds more? This isn’t me granting all those who know me permission to be an utter cunt. Be tactful, understand people’s points of view, and approach an annoying matter with the hope that they will listen and take on board your comments. (If they don’t, sod them) If you want change, you have to speak up, or the poor soul grinding your gears is (as far as you’re aware) blissfully unaware you want to smash their face in. Passive aggression gets your nowhere. Leaving people impossible to crack clues, false smiles and unimpressed glances will NOT make you happier or change their behaviour. So change yours or learn to be content with being pissed off all the time.
Better Help’s useful article offers support on how to deal with your anger, targeting it head on to locate the reasons and solutions for dealing with it.
P.S would like to thank my handy collage maker for my recent featured images. Who needs photoshop?